the sermon of the disgruntled water cowboy
Self-centeredness is undoubtedly my highest virtue.... although it runs a tight race with ardent hedonism..... and abject sloth. I have never been able to fathom the motivations behind organized religion. My two teenage children and their angry mother live on the opposite coast from me, with an entire continent lodged safely between us. Family life, in the sense of living under the same roof, ended for me in the winter of 2003.... ten years ago. I left my two children, a son, age seven and a half, and a daughter, age five, in Northfield, New Hampshire. I drove four thousand miles to Northern California. My ancient van with 239,681 current miles on the odometer, and I.... with fifty-eight solemn years behind me.... are still together and running. I am barely able to manifest a relationship with a girlfriend. My good-hearted girl friend currently resides, as the devoted only daughter of her ninety-something year old parents, in a room upstairs from her folks.... on an isolated lake in northern Michigan somewhere. I have never been there. The desolate town is called Bear Lake. It must be over a thousand miles from real surf. I can't conceive of a life without a soulful surf break in my backyard.
Like I said: organized religion is a scroll of toilet tissue, is ever wasted on me. I have my own disorganized outlook on life, or, slightly-shredded view of things:
The One True Great Religion, The Bible..... in my book.... Is ever writ upon water.....
Actually, THE BOOK IS WATER....... The TRUTH that will set you free...... IS WATER.
What Is....? What's the Word....? Have you heard the Word of..... today, brother?
The Word, In the Beginning and all the rest.....
WATER.
In the beginning was water, and water was with (god) and...... water is (god).....
Agua...... comprendo, amigo?
H2O is the Original Holy Trinity.
(beer and wine are acceptable minor forms of the diety, but it's a little early to start down that slippery slope....)
WATER PLANET EARTH: Her oceans, Her rivers, Her mountains, Her forests.... Her molten volcanic island continents, Her raging storms and Her billowing waves.... ALL OF IT!! Is HER.... IS
GODDESS.
as in, THE GODDESS, a Goddess..... many goddesses.... SHE..... Herself....
selves.
Does that make sense?
(I don't know about elves..... elves, that's a different story.....)
SELVES...... that's my everlasting story...... places to hang wet things.....
The world I live in and on is: THE GODDESS..... THE HOLY MOTHER..... MOTHER NATURE.... GAIA
and this world is filled with GODDESSES..... like
THE GREAT MOTHER OCEAN GODDESS
THE GREAT MOTHER OCEAN GODDESS
the Pacific Ocean Goddess, the Mad River Goddess, the Holy Mouth of the Mad River Mingling with the Sacred Waters of the Pacific Goddess .....
ocean goddesses, sea goddesses, river goddesses, lake goddesses, spring goddesses, pond goddesses, stream goddesses, rain goddesses, fountain goddesses..... volcano goddesses, misty mountain goddesses, redwood forest goddesses, foggy bottom goddesses, moonstone beach goddesses, camel rock goddesses..... beer garden goddesses, wine bar goddesses, global village goddesses, tequila worm goddesses, disco goddesses.....
(hold on up yonder there a minute..... don't start waxing your porpoise with Goddess Theory 999 .... don't bust your big wave leash, yet.... we're trying to carve out an<< intro>> set..... drop gently into Wave Theory 101 here... think, first wave, in the first heat at the Greg Knoll Longboard Classic up in Crescent City..... chill man.... Don't try to ride the whole dang ocean of goddesses in one breath.... that's advanced technique.... we'll get to superior and inferior goddess riding soon enough..... here, we're laying out the basics: wax, board, wetsuit, booties....)
EARTH IS A GODDESS, WATER IS A GODDESS, FIRE IS A GODDESS, AIR IS A GODDESS, SPACE IS A GODDESS.
yes, that's Bonpo: The Five Elementals..... Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
but, I think you're getting the picture.... this moist, tight little womb in infinite space, planet earth nursery..... it isn't just the planet of us apes, anymore, brother...... sorry to have to disappoint....
IT'S THE PLANET OF THE GODDAMN WOMEN!!
All women are directly descended from THE ONE AND ONLY GODDESS! and that makes them all goddesses.... every last one of them, young and old and in between.... goddesses, mothers, dakinis and
ETERNAL INFERNAL EGG BASKETS!!
GOD, or, THE FATHER..... is THE SUN......
(Go ask Genghis if you think I'm lying.....)
GOD IS THE SUN.
no discussion.
God, the Father........ has a Mother, in a manner of speaking:
THE GREAT WOMB OF INFINITE SPACE
Space has no mother by the way.... and for dang sure no father!
The Grand Void of Eternal Space.... The Single Boundless Infinite Sphere of All and us...... was never born and never shall, SHE , pass away.... go ask
ITSELF
MOTHER SUPERIOR to us, pal...... if you don't believe me....
Go ask The Infinite, Bra-less "Born Free" Unborn Single Womb-Sphere of Constant and Capricious Eternal Rightness..... MISS BLISS HERSELF!!
THE UN-BROKEN EGG
laughing lizzie in the funhouse
(go 'head an axe da woman...... if you think I'm making this bloody shit up....)
ok...
and as for....... you and me, bro..... you guessed it.... or I'll tell ya
We're all certified a-1 steak-sauce-luvin, gruntin, cursin, stinkin bastards....... don't never say, sons of bitches, sir..... there ain't no bitches here on this majestic blue-stocking planet.... just goddesses...... mothers and us
the unruly, unquenchable, unholy..... hopelessly deluded.... sexually depraved..... goddess-starved...... bastard sons of squirrelly Adam, or, Adonis, the bronzed and fair-haired....
that poor bastardly great-great-great..... and not-so-great..... granddaddy of us all.... who fell out of the blue, fell out of the bower, fell out of his acorn house, fell off his board..... got hit on the noggin..... and fell into a bed of kelp and starry agates with
Eve, or, Isis, or Venus, the misty-eyed daughter of the dawn, or.....
though not necessarily in that order.... these are Great Mysteries, my sons... the workings and whereabouts and whence-forths and who-dunnits-to-whom-when-and-where-for-how-long, etc., etc..
The Who Splashed Whom Firsts of...... Ol Poseidon.... as it were
The First and Biggest Bone Head of us all
The Grand Patriarch, Adamass Genghis Adonis Poseidonus Erecticus
The First Walrus
who spawned our ragtag race of surf jockies and wave thieves....
then, left us here to deal with this godforsaken host of rebels and rapscallions who pretend to be real riders of reality
bros..... dudes..... cromagnumb kooks
when all we really are is a wild bunch of sour grapes and rancid jism on burnt toast in the rocket's red glare
hopelessly enamored of and out-gunned daily by
All the God-luvin-n-hatin Goddesses what bees descended from Eve Almighty... The Great-Great Easter Egg Basket!!!!
Got it?
end of the sermon of the disgruntled water cowboy.
maybe
