The ER. Die unfallstation. Yonder emergency room beckons—
Wow. I’ve been avoiding this original first draft telling for… 4 years 7 months 2 weeks 1 day 6 hours 23 minutes… and counting.
It’s just not something I want to do. What’s the point in reviewing all this horrible shit? Who cares?! No one, right!? This is getting ridiculous
Ummm. Arsenic and old dragonwell, anyone?
Oh god. Alright.
I’ll see if I can somehow make it fun. And funny. And informative. And liberating. And uplifting!
You must be kidding. Right?
Put a big digital smile on all those collective invisible internet faces. Isn’t that what it’s all about these days? Digital giggles of group catharsis in the cyber-church of collective human consciousness!?
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a chance we're taking
We're taking our own lives
It's true we'll make a brighter day
Just you and me
Michael Jackson
Seriously… Informative? So this is some kind of: How To Go To The Emergency Room… self-help cancer survival manual?
Adi Da was listening to Michael Jackson the very moment he keeled over and died. There were no emergency rooms anywhere near his compound on Nauitaba, Fiji at the time. At least. None that he would have gone to.
He had two private doctors on 24-hour emergency duty. He was dead on arrival.
Now that was an “easy death”.
Way to go, bro.
What does that have to do with…?
Nothing! Absolutely zilch!!
Alright, alright… we all do it… “our way”… for better or worse… easier or harder… away we go
The first decision to be made. By intrepid, grey me. Staring into the blaring whiteness. Of the dew warming, fog dispersing morning sun. On a typical Humboldt day. Gasping for air. While floundering on an anonymous neighbor’s lawn. On Kelly Avenue in Mckinleyville, CA. On May 4, 2014.
The first decision to be made. After the long avoided decision. To go to the emergency room in the first place. To go to the emergency room immediately if. If.
If I was running a fever. Following my liver surgery.
Well, yes. Sure. I had been running a nightly fever of over a hundred and four for approximately four weeks. But. Oh, never mind…
We already covered the heroic atom crushing, trash compacting chthonic journey in the prior Confession!!
So. Let’s get on with it. ER>>>>>
Well. No. Not exactly.
What not exactly!? What are we waiting for!? You’re about to die!!
Yes. I see your point.
Death is a tough act to follow.
On an anonymous neighbor’s lawn no less!!
On a “plain old” Humboldt sunny day… yes.
How barbaric.
What now, gringo?
I forgot to mention… a voice.
Not… The Voice!?
Well. Some call it~~ !!!THE VOICE!!!
The tv show that Lisa likes to watch with Jasper, or… G O D ?
Well, some call it: Voice #7.
You mean #9 #9 #9 #9…..
No no. Just an anonymous voice inside my head during the early morning arising out of the… post-hepatic surgical infection… fever.
Oh right. That voice… “Anonymous”… same guy who spoke to Moses, Ezekiel, Jacob
Yes. Amongst others.
Well. What pray tell did dearest <<ANONYMOUS>> say?
I thought you’d never query.
O query I must. Confess. Confess! We don’t have all day, Romeo.
Yes, padre. An anonymous voice said that what I was experiencing as a result of being pounded deeper and deeper into the dirt by
<<<<Thor’s Almighty Hammer Mjolnir>>>>
Yes!!!??
The hideous howling of the entire kosmos being compressed to the size of a blackhead.
Right, right. Go on.
What was happening… I was told. What I was witnessing. In the extended “psychic sphere” then. Was the formation of a black hole.
A black hole?! Like Einstein’s Theory of Yadda-Yadda predicted?
That’s right. Yes. To a certain extent. The anonymous voice didn’t quote Einstein: E=mc2 or anything like that.
No? Too bad. Einstein would have been disappointed.
But. It said. The physical, material universe is only a part of the actual equation. The real universe is actually made of consciousness:
(mass=matter=energy=consciousness)
See: e=(bon)c2 in Confessions above.
It is a “pscyho-physical plastic” as Adi Da and many others have stated. The universe is an “arising in, and as, an inherently egoless, non-binding, modification of, Consciousness Itself”. The anonymous voice I heard speaking to me at the bottom of the heated, dark, painfully>>constrictive well<<concurred with this “consciousness” assessment of the universe.
Stated simply, by Adi Da, again: “Consciousness Itself is Reality Itself, is the only Real God”.
That acknowledged. Or silently understood by me. The anonymous voice went on to say. You have heard of “dark matter”? And, I said, yes. I have heard of “modern scientific theoretical dark matter”. If that’s what you mean. The gross material substrate of the universe which modern theoretical physics claims to be the major portion of our substantive
reality,— visible light and other measurable forms of energy being only a small fraction thereof.
Yes, I am listening…?
The anonymous voice then said. Well, apparently you have heard of “dark matter” and in your limited way… you have some idea of what it is. But. That is not all. There is also something called “dark energy”. Have you heard of “dark energy”?
Well, no. Could it be a Darth Vader kind of thing? Like, Luke has the “positive intuition” associated with a healthy “life-positive”— creative, procreative— think on the bright side— moral imperative to “do the right thing”— the open-handed, beneficent impulse of an un-guarded, open heart— a shining Universal Studio’s love— ever-ready at the ever-youthful root of his ever-life-affirming— Walt Disneyesque
“May The Force be with you”!
Uh. Sure thing, Obe-Wan.
And, Darth sports the clinched fist of a primal fear-based, unhealthy “life-negative”— or, life-cancelling intuition and impulse— a “trust no one” life insurance policy— a kill or be killed operating system— us vs. them software program— driven from an all-consuming, narcissistic, separative egoic— isolated, lonely “cut-off from love” broken heart-spring — manifesting as an eternal “holy war” syndrome— a la the delusional, sadomasochistic, mythic desert cults, or, dualistic religions like— Zoroastrianism, Manichaeism, Christianity…
Could “dark energy” be what the Death Star runs on? And what Darth Vader has for breakfast? Like some kind of “apoptotic”
Death-Encrusted Corporate Pop Tart?
Perhaps. But here’s the thing, the anonymous voice said.
If >>The Dark Matter<< I am referring to is somewhat comparable to… the as yet “un-arisen aspect”… the “unknown”… currently un-perceived, and/or, unimagined, of human awareness… “the yin” as opposed to—
If >>The Dark Matter<< I am referring to is somewhat comparable to… the as yet “un-arisen aspect”… the “unknown”… currently un-perceived, and/or, unimagined, of human awareness… “the yin” as opposed to—
<<The Bright Matter>> which is the apparent, perceivable… agreed upon as it were… more or less, “known universe”… both physical and mental… part of a simultaneously arising… “inside and outside” the ken… of human collective consciousness. The psycho-physical plastique— noosphere/biosphere…. “the yang”
You follow?
Uh…
If Dark Matter is likened to—
The hidden material substrate of the visible universe.
The real buried treasure of the burgeoning void.
As well as the Collective Human Un-Conscience.
Tesla’s Unknown Quotient.
The Un-spoken. Tao.
The Great Un-Discovered Land.
The Primordial Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.
The Divine Mind.
Pure Universal Potentiality.
Lord Shiva.
Esoteric Psycho-Energetic Da Plastique.
Carbon-and-Consciousness Based Reality.
The hidden material substrate of the visible universe.
The real buried treasure of the burgeoning void.
As well as the Collective Human Un-Conscience.
Tesla’s Unknown Quotient.
The Un-spoken. Tao.
The Great Un-Discovered Land.
The Primordial Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.
The Divine Mind.
Pure Universal Potentiality.
Lord Shiva.
Esoteric Psycho-Energetic Da Plastique.
Carbon-and-Consciousness Based Reality.
All of Reality arising… both “the known” and “the unknown”… always together and… like the yin/yang symbol implies… always simultaneously.
If. This “dark energy” which I am referring to—
>>>Dark Super-Magnetic Death Star Energy<<<
Ignorance, mistrust, fear, hatred, separation, suppression, oppression…
Yes. Rather like a fearful necromancer’s midnight sun which also arises within
If this dark, primeval… violent, ultraviolet lightning-filled… thundercloud is conceived of in the mind… as an aspect of both apparent visible reality, and, within the mind of man
Then. I propose. A certain aspect of this “hypothetical dark energy” may also be understood as the direct result of negative human thought… the negatively charged emot-ions being a by-product of dark human thinking.
Life-Cancelling, Self-Destructive, Planet-Destroying Dark Energy, then.
May be seen as an accumulation of fear-based, heart-constrictive— fear, hatred and violence instilling— negative thoughts, negative words, negative impulses, negative actions…
Name calling in the media! The Trump Agenda.
Yes.
I see. Like the impulse drive of a bad karmic space ship tripping into the black void. Like black doggy depression at its source. Pure bad thinking under force of habit. With weapons of mass destruction in hand. Darth Vader, Inc.
Yep. Only at a grand kosmic scale.
Really?
Yep. On a kosmic scale over kosmic periods of time. The accumulation of this profoundly destructive, mortal life-cancelling substance—
>>Inherently Dark Energy<<
Negative thought.
Which includes fear, anger, hatred, jealousy, etc. All of the so-named “negative” human emotions, or psychic poisons, that cause so much needless suffering and hideous environmental/psychic devastation here.
The chronic pattern of separative egoic— “other negating”— inherently mind based— hateful negative thinking—
It is not only the hidden psychic root of human suffering and— one of the main causes of “terminal cancer”— as it is called in your puny world. But. It is also the collective human consciousness root of what Einstein referred to as theoretical, mathematical “black holes”.
Really?
Yes. The point is. Why I brought you here. Or, why I had Thor hammer you down here into the molten plasma center of the Earth. Beyond the hidden Halls of Amenti. Into the radiant dark core of this neutron star. Into this thermonuclear psychic pressure cooker. This hell well of blistering heat and infinite gravitational collapse.
The fiery whirlpool anus of the sizzling winged rainbow boa serpent—
Yes?
Poimandres.
Of course.
I wanted to let you in on a secret. The Secret. Not the LA Secret, otherwise referred to as “wishful thinking”…
Right.
Right now. As it is said in your world… “The clock is ticking.” And, while that is perfectly true, in a manner of speaking, in your world. Indeed the planets of your tiny solar system are turning on their well-greased axes. And your minuscule galaxy is rotating as usual around its simmering mother star. The fine Swiss watch of eternity is still functioning as Sir Isaac would have it. However. I must warn you that, as a result of the toxic buildup of—
>>Collective Environmentally Toxic Dark Energy<<
The result of what seems like aeons upon aeons of particularly nasty negative, war-productive, planetary pollutive, politically divisive “power
thinking” on the part of you absurdly misguided, so-called “human” protoplasmic units…
A VERY VERY LARGE BLACK HOLE
HAS FORMED
IN A VERY NEARBY
VICINITY OF YOUR HOME GALAXY
HAS FORMED
IN A VERY NEARBY
VICINITY OF YOUR HOME GALAXY
I see. Not… “a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away”
No. But, alas. I doubt you do see. It is almost entirely invisible to the human apparatus. It is utterly undetectable with any of your so-called advanced human scientific technology.
Oh well.
The point is. Negative human thinking, manifesting as—DARK ENERGY— has risen to such a pitch in its utterly silent—and otherwise so-called “scientifically” unobservable— evolutionary dark history that it has generated an enormous>>>BLACK HOLE<<< that is in the process of re-absorbing and re-configuring the crowded sector of the galaxy which you presently inhabit.
That doesn’t sound too good.
No. Not really. If I was you. If I was a human being on your puny planet right now…
What? What would you do?! What should I do?!!
Please! Please!! Tell me what I should do!!??
Syonara, sucker.
Oh, that’s. Oh that’s just fucking great…
Thanks for the memories, dude!
You big fucking bully of a giant colossal… squid ink squirting… fat black eight-armed asshole!
Now what?
Time to go to… die unfallstation. Schnell! Schnell!!
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Well I think it's fine, building jumbo planes
Or taking a ride on a cosmic train
Switch on summer from a slot machine
Yes, get what you want to if you want
Cause you can get anything
Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)
