One day.  Late in 2007?  I was sitting at the trim table with Melanie.  A friend from Heartwood.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
I said.  How goes it with Charlie, Melanie?
And she said.  Fuck.  Got a week to listen?  You don’t want to know…
…ship snip snip… snip snip snip…
How goes it with Jessica, Alan?
Fuck.  Funny you should ask.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Doesn’t “love” suck?  she said.
Yeah.
What’s the problem now?  I thought Jessica went to Turkey?
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Yeah.  She did.
So?
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Can’t seem to get her out of my head.  Can’t seem to get her out of my heart.  It’s like.  She stole my soul.  Locked me in a cage or something.  I can’t seem to forget her.  And move on.  I’m awfully stuck on her, Melanie.
Hmmm.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Well.  You know.  Jess was big into that Feng Shui Shit.

Yeah.  I know.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
What does that have to do with anything?
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Have you gotten everything that belonged to Jess out of this house?
Ummm.  Now that you mention it.  No.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Those cactuses, some other green potted plants, those rocks in the hall, her old single bed… I don’t know.  She put most of her stuff in storage before she left.  I think she may have some stuff in the closet in her room.  I don’t know.  What’s the point?
Dang, dude.  Jess was a powerful practitioner of that feng shui shit!
Don’t you see it, man?  All those green growing plants she left you to take care of for her… It’s like… you’re maintaining her chi, her life force!  It’s like you’re sustaining her continued presence here in this space.
??????????!!!!!!  light bulb….. pop!!
If I were you.  
I’d round up every last piece of Jess’s junk that she left here.
And fucking get rid of it!  
Get rid of those plants that need watering and attention.  
Get rid of that child’s bed waiting for a child.  
Empty out that skeleton closet.  
Go through the entire house top to bottom.  
Inside and out.  
Get rid of all of the tangible evidence.  
Get rid of every last scrap of her living, breathing presence here.  
Eradicate the physical triggers of her mortal memories.  
Clear the house of Jess’s remains.  
Then burn some sage.  
Say a prayer of gratitude for being rid of her.

Wish her all the best somewhere else.
Or tell her to go burn in fucking hell.
No.
Don’t curse her memory.
Sorry, Charlie.
Clean the house with sage smoke.  
And move on.
Dang!  So simple.  So staring me right in the face obvious.  A frightful lesson learned the hard way—
If you’re gonna fight an Iowan witch.  Hire a Puerto Rican witch.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
That’s a good idea, Melanie.  Gracias.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Sure.
…snip snip snip… snip snip snip…
Now ya wanna hear about Charlie an me, amigo?
Ok.  Shoot.

 .      .  .  .       .     .  .    .  .        .   

And so.  On Melanie’s brilliant advice.  I went frantically through the house rounding up all of Jessica’s remains.  And you wonder why it can’t be an authentic cathedral without the empowered remains… holy relics… of a church-certified saint… a church-murdered martyr?  A toe bone, a flap of foreskin or a rotten tooth of some… poor unlucky bastard… hearing unwanted heavenly voices in his or her head… who was kucked with the kucking stool, flayed alive, and then burnt like a beefsteak… for disagreeing with catholic fascist dogma.

Get real, you smurking, rational scientific-materialist non-believers!!
This <<Fangs of the Dragon>> medieval… poison arrow… smoke and mirrors… rattlesnake rattle…  stick the pins in… voodoo shit still works.  Jess was a master at it.  She had me swinging by my sagging nutsack on a cork screw meat skewer over a sagebrush fire out in the desert.…
I raced through the house like a man possessed by a demon.  Tossing all her stuff into big black contractor bags before it was too late.  Then.  Without stopping to catch my breath.  I drove like a madman over to Jessica’s brother… Topher.  Over to… Topher’s… and, Tana’s (his wife)… house on a corner of A Street in south Eureka, CA.  Where I.  Opened the doggie gate.  Closed the doggie gate.  Knocked on the front door.  Trying to look all casual-like.  Cool calm and collected…  
No one home…. huff… puff…  Dang.  O fuck it!
I just heaved the shit over the low fence onto the front lawn.  And scrambled out of there fast as a jackrabbit on meth.  I could hear the banshees wailing at the moon in broad daylight as I drove on away from that doggie-pooped, sun-dried, dyin-o-thirst… trash-heaped front lawn.
I whispered a… sorry, folks.  To Tana and Topher.  And, thought-speeched…  “Good riddance to bad garbage”… to… madame.
And.  I was done.  I had washed my hands clean.  “Dusted the sand off my (Blundstone) boots”… The ones that Jessica convinced me to buy?
Oh shit.  Didn’t think of the boots?  Still wearin em.  I wonder…
Anyway.  I got rid of most of her stuff in a hurry.  And.  Hoped and prayed that all hell wasn’t going to break loose.
The rocks?
Uh huh.
Jessica’s Rocks?
Uh huh.

What the fuck did you do with Jessica’s goddamn feng shui river stones?!
Oh.  Those stupid old paper weights collecting dust in the hall.  Right—
I just tossed them out into the backyard.  
You what?!
Tossed em in the backyard at Upper Bay.  I thought I might use them as garden decorations maybe.  Like the broken chips of pottery and what-not that Jessica had strewn around the veggie garden and buried in the yard.
Rocks.  River stones.  Whatever.  No big deal.  I was shaping a plan in the back of my mind to take those river stones back to where they belonged.  I had almost formed a plan to paddle out to the mouth of the Mad River and… ritually…. ceremonially… toss the rocks into the mouth of the Mad… where it meets the Pacific Ocean
It was real sweet plan, see—
It would take me a little while to get around to it.  I would eventually buy a seventeen-foot Mad River (VT)… shiny white whale of a… white fiberglass standard canoe… and a really nifty carbon fiber, collapsible standup paddle pole… on Topher’s recommendation… and
Topher?!  Jessica’s brother?
Yeah.  He was a standup paddle pole canoe guy.  Among other things.  Real cool guy.  I liked him.  We went out poling.  Paddling together on occasion.  Or, was it once.  On the Mad.  In the Kali Mist?  
Anyway.  I had to hatch this super special plan to rid myself of these sacred river stones.  By intentionally returning them to their place of origin.  It was only proper and fair.  The stones didn’t want to roll over… “how does it feel?… to be on your own… no direction home… like a complete unknown… like a rollin stone”… to hang out in my house over on Upper Bay.  They needed to go home to the Mad.

I just needed a little more time to to tie together the loose threads.  To make my own magic net… “ritual to feed the mother ocean at the mouth of the Mad River”… come to fruition.
I had a secure savings plan.  A sacred mission on the back boil.  These holy rituals take time to hatch, Br’er Fox.
I knew what I was doing.  Offering up those diabolical dragon eggs to the Great Pacific Mother Ocean at the wild, untamed mouth of The Mad… simultaneously at high tide… on a particularly auspicious day… or maybe during a certain full moon rising…  disgorging all of that black magic from the prow of a white Moby Dick… Mad River canoe… with proper prayers, incantations, spells… cornmeal, honey, baking soda, handmade beads… raven’s claws… maybe, eagle’s… feathers
My sacred dental ritual to put the Mad River dragon’s molars back in its maw was in the works.  Meantime.  I was anxious to see how it went.  The getting rid of Jessica’s stuff.
Which reminds me.  I had no trouble getting rid of her “wealth vase”.  Dropping her bamboo wealth vase from Target filled with the valuable dirt from a rich man’s yard, the hand-written prayers of intention, and so forth.  In her brother’s yard.  The Necco glass candy jars that I gave her from New Hampshire… plop plop plop—
I got rid of most of it.  I did.
But.  I keep forgetting to get rid of that wooden sailing ship model.  The hand-built, quadruple-masted clipper ship, “Marie Claire” model, from Many Hands Gallery, in the exact center of Old Town Eureka, CA.  Where Jessica used to work.  On the corner of F Street and Second Street.  Beside the large, intricate, inlaid, cut-stone street compass.
Damn.  I should put that bogus barque on Craigslist today.  It’s time to let go—

Barques and barque shrines in Ancient Egypt

In Ancient Egypt barques, referred to using the French word as Egyptian hieroglyphs were first translated by the Frenchman Jean-François Champollion, were a type of boat used from Egypt's earliest recorded times and are depicted in many drawings, paintings, and reliefs that document the culture. Transportation to the afterlife was believed to be accomplished by way of barques as well, and the image is used in many of the religious murals and carvings in temples and tombs.
The most important Egyptian barque carried the dead pharaoh to become a deity. Great care was taken to provide a beautiful barque to the pharaoh for this journey, and models of the boats were placed in their tombs. Many models of these boats, that range from tiny to huge in size, have been found. Wealthy and royal members of the culture also provided barques for their final journey. The type of vessel depicted in Egyptian images remains quite similar throughout the thousands of years the culture persisted.
Barques were important religious artifacts and since the deities were thought to travel in this fashion in the sky—the Milky Way was seen as a great waterway that was as important as the Nile on Earth—cult statues of the deities traveled by boats on water and ritual boats were carried about by the priests during festival ceremonies. Temples included barque shrines, sometimes more than one in a temple, in which the sacred barques rested when a procession was not in progress.[6][7] In these stations the boats would be watched over and cared for by the priests.

That feng shui ship was right there in the cedar closet on the top shelf in my house over here on Kelly Ave in Mckinleyville, Ca… waiting for the Humboldt County Drug Task Force… to break in and steal me blind… just like the wealth vase… which was sitting in more or less the same strategic position… in a dead bolted, padlocked, metal door shut tight closet on a top shelf… securely hidden in the center of the house… over on Upper Bay—
My damn “ship came in” alright!!  And a swat team of highly caffeinated pirates dressed in black, sporting kevlar vests, and shiny metal badges… symbols of their legalized power over me… an old man with terminal
cancer growing a medicinal plant that has been grown by humans for tens of thousands of years in his own garage
Wow.  The archaic symbolism of words, images and stuff.  The strange power of symbols.  And you wonder what they’re doing over there in the Catholic church with all those mystical symbols and arcane rituals?  The golden chalice of blood and the divine bodily wafer.  That’s called BLACK MAGIC, friend.  Casting a spell over the masses.  In any book on witchcraft.  Modern or ancient.  
And don’t think they’re not doing it… them goose-stepping, Kossack kneecap flapping, Celtic runic river, disco dancing barneys… over in Washington, DC, the Kremlin, or Los Alamos…
They’ve got important folks doing the magic steps… Nureyev/Einstein types…  working out round the clock in top secret gymnasium boardroom strategic command and control air plane hanger missile silo physics fortified underground bunker nuclear armageddon attack dog… doo da department of death disco branches… trying to make new forms of fool’s golden nuclear light from heavier metal isotopes than lead…  building flying robotic killer homunculi…  discovering one-hundred-and-one new ways to enlighten (fry) humanity… hoping to uncover the secret, hidden neural pathways where physical (and digital) reality ends and… the theoretical doomsday models in their minds begin.  
Where airy-fairy, sci-fi-fantasy and cold-hearted killer reality merge?
Yeah.  Our last President was an avid predator drone pilot, remember?  Added eight more… to  make a nice round eighteen years… murdering those hard to find twenty-thousand… plus or minus a few… Taliban hill fighters in Afghanistan…  Over a million innocent Iraqis exterminated…  
Hooray for the red white and blue black death machine!  
And now we’re facing the perennial riddler… or, is it the “killing joke” joker?  With his twisted, repetitive, mantra-like aphorisms… his sinister, self-aggrandizing magic formulas—
One man’s truth is another man’s lies.  
My fake news is your headliner.  

Everything you believe is wrong, while everything I believe in is right.  What’s real is what isn’t.
Who matters is me.
Do you see what I see?
Invisible winged critters… atoms, molecules, protons, electrons… the whole swarming hive of subatomic quantum quarks… bosons, mesons, gluons, muons…  strange mathematical symbols… weird Greek runes, ancient Arabic numbers, bizarre secret formulae, mysterious equations, costly power spells…
Charges, spins, colors… all imaginary… real… “psycho-physical plastic” units… dangerous fiery plasma orbs… Witch’s Hammer… grist for the human bone grindstones… atomic brews of deadly dragon delight.  All those post doc chalk boards full of it… sinister scientific power spells… runic characters in a death play… symbols of something that no one can see with these earthly eyes, like warring angels and demons, warring gods and demigods…
Start moving those symbolic… wizard’s and warlord’s… wind up toys… around in prescribed, and, unnatural ways… and… BLAMO!!  The Fermilab goes up in smoke.  The Large Hadron CERN Super Collider Super Proton Synchrotron goes flaky  
BLAMO!!!!!   …. fizzle fizzle…
Never mind all those fire-spouting alembics, those quaint alchemical furnaces of—
Legendary alchemists
Hermes Trismegistus
Ostanes, the Persian
Nicolas Flamel
Perenelle Flamel
Alchemists in Greco-Roman Egypt[edit]
Agathodaemon
Chymes
Cleopatra the Alchemist

Mary the Jewess
Moses of Alexandria
Olympiodorus of Thebes (c. 400)
Paphnutia the Virgin (c. 300)
Pseudo-Aristotle
Pseudo-Democritus
Pseudo-Plato
Stephen of Alexandria
Zosimos of Panopolis (c. 300)
Indian alchemists[edit]
Kanada, sage and philosopher (6th century BC)
Nagarjuna
Yogi Vemana
Siddhar Tamil sage and philosophers
Nayanmars Tamil sage and philosophers
Alvars Tamil sage and philosophers
Vallalar, Tamil 18th Century sage and philosopher
Arunagirinathar Tamil 15th Century sage and philosopher
Chinese alchemists[edit]
Wei Boyang
Zhang Guo the Elder (c. 600)
Islamic alchemists[edit]
Further information: Alchemy and chemistry in medieval Islam
Khalid ibn Yazid, "Calid" (d. 704)
Jābir ibn Hayyān, "Geber" (c. 721 – 815)
Dhul-Nun al-Misri (b. 796)
Al-Kindi, "Alkindus" (801 – 873), a critic of alchemy
Al-Farabi, "Alfarabi" (870 – 950/951)
Muhammad ibn Zakarīya Rāzi, "Rhazes" (864 – 930)
Muhammed ibn Umail al-Tamimi, "Senior Zadith" (c. 900–960)
Abu Ali al-Husain ibn Abdallah ibn Sina, "Avicenna" (980 – 1037), a critic of alchemy, Father of modern Medicine
Al-Tughrai (1061–1121)
Artephius (c. 1150)
European alchemists[edit]
Alain de Lille (Born from 1115 to 1128 – died in 1202(1203?))

Albertus Magnus (1193–1280)
Roger Bacon (1214–1294)
Pseudo-Geber (Spain, 13th century)
Ramon Llull (Raymond Lulli) (1235–1315)
John Dastin (early 14th)
Arnold of Villanova (1245 – ?(before 1311))
Jean de Meung (c.1250 – c.1305)
Petrus Bonus (Early 14th century)
Ortolanus or Hortulanus (fl. 1358)
Jean de Roquetaillade (Johannes de Rupescissa ) (d. 1336)
Gilles de Rais (1401–1440)
Bernard Trevisan (Bernard of Treves) (1406–1490)
Johann of Laz (15th century)
George Ripley (England, 15th century)
Thomas Norton (c. 1433-c. 1513)
Johannes Trithemius (1462–1516)
Johann Georg Faust (ca. 1480–1540)
Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa (1486–1535)
Paracelsus (1493–1541)
Thomas Charnock (1516/1524/1526–1581)
François Hotman (1524–1590)
John Dee (1527–1609)
Gerhard Dorn (c. 1530–1584)
Martin Ruland the Elder (1532-1602)
Richard Stanihurst (1547–1618)
Tycho Brahe (1546–1601)
Samuel Norton (1548–1621)
Edward Kelley (1555–1597)
Basilius Valentinus (Basil Valentine) (16/17th century)
Andreas Libavius (1555–1616)
François Béroalde de Verville (1556–1626)
Heinrich Khunrath (circa 1560–1605)
Oswald Croll (circa 1563-1609)
Melchior Cibinensis (16th century)
Jean D'Espagnet (1564 – c. 1637)
Michał Sędziwój (1566–1636)
Benedictus Figulus (born 1567)
Michael Maier (1568–1622)

Martin Ruland the Younger (1569 – 1611)
Jacob Boehme (1575–1624)
Jan Baptist van Helmont (1577–1644)
Arthur Dee (1579–1651)
Johann Daniel Mylius (c. 1583-1642)
Johann Moriaen (1591-1668)
William Backhouse (1593 – 1662)
Baro Urbigerus
Ali Puli (17th century)
Daniel Stolz von Stolzenberg (Daniel Stolcius) (1600–1660)
Johannes Nicolaus Furichius (1602-1633)
Edward Dyer (d. 1607)
Basset Jhones (b. 1613)
Elias Ashmole (1617–1692)
Thomas Henshaw (1618–1700)
Edmund Dickinson (1624–1707)
Johann Friedrich Schweitzer (1625–1709)
Frederick Clod (b. 1625)
Giuseppe Francesco Borri (1627–1695)
Robert Boyle (1627–1691)
George Starkey (alchemist) (1628–1665)
Eirenaeus Philalethes
Hening Brand (c.1630–1710)
Johann Kunckel (1630–1703)
Johann Joachim Becher (1635–1682)
Isaac Newton (1642–1727)
Claude Duval (1643–1670)
Dionysius Andreas Freher (1649–1728)
Georg von Welling (1652-1727)
Anton Josef Kirchweger ((d.1746))
Alessandro Cagliostro (1743–1795)
James Price (1752–1783)
Count of St Germain (d. 1784)
Johann Christoph von Wöllner (1732–1800)
August Nordenskiold (1754–1792)
August Strindberg (1849–1912)
Franz Tausend (1884–1942)

Revival and modern alchemists[edit]
Johann Georg Rapp (1757-1847)
Frater Albertus (Dr. Albert Reidel) (1911–1984)
Eugène Canseliet (1899–1982)
Fulcanelli (pseudonym; dates unknown: Late 19th century – early 20th.)
Serge Hutin (1927–1997)
Max Magnus Norman (1973 – )
Terrence McKenna (1946–2000)
Diane Di Prima (1932 – )
R.A. Schwaller de Lubicz (1887-1961)
Rudolf von Sebottendorf (1875-1945)
Rudolf Steiner (1861-1925)
Scholars of alchemy[edit]
Marcellin Berthelot (1827-1907)
Titus Burckhardt (1908-1984)
Antoine Faivre (b. 1934)
Marie-Louise von Franz (1915–1998)
Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke (1953-2012)
Manly P. Hall (1901-1990)
Wouter Hanegraaff (b. 1961)
Ethan A. Hitchcock (general) (1798-1870)
Carl Jung (1875 – 1961)
Edmund Oscar von Lippmann (1857-1940)
Adam McLean (b. 1948)
William R. Newman (b. 1955)
M. M. Pattison Muir (1848–1931)
Lawrence M. Principe
Joost Ritman (b. 1941)
Herbert Silberer (1882-1923)
F. Sherwood Taylor (1857-1956)
Arthur Edward Waite (1857-1942)

The whole known world is being steadily reduced to burning cinders and falling ash.  Right before our own very unbelieving mortal eyes.  Half of Redding just burned to the ground.  Old town Shasta is no more.  The Carr
fire is still not under control at this very moment.  The Bay Area is burning.  LA always adds a few coals to the fire.  Santa Barbara blazed.  Lake County torched.  Yosemite burned by the millions of acres.  Santa Rosa destroyed by fire.  Seems like California really is turning into a blast furnace.  Smoke rising everywhere…  not just “Mr. Mojo rising”…
Imagine that?
“This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper”.
T.S. Eliot  The Hollow Men
Thanks Mr. Eliot, sir.  But.  With all due respect.  I beg to differ.  It would appear to me that the world is ending with plenty of bangs, booms… Ka-bangs and KA-BOOMS!!!… LOUD SHOUTS for help, VIOLENT screams of pain, and, whimpers, of course.  Quiet, steady whimpers and feeble last gasps of toxic fumes… three feet from the sea, blinded by smoke, on the beach in Greece.  
Sure.  A whimper is a fine, sardonic choice of words within the context of the poem.  I wouldn’t argue with the early twentieth century master of grimoire.  Oh no.  Especially with your grim purview of the poppy fields of Flanders, sir.   
But here in the ludicrous year, 2018… en morte or less the anniversary of the end of the first world war.  If I may be so bold, sir…  Without insulting your superior intelligence, or, your apocryphal vision from the crack of doom… I’d like to update your pertinent observations about the ongoing eschaton.
The true essence of it, I believe, resides in.  Not a jaunty, ragtime piano…
“This is the way we wash the clothes”
This is the way we wash the clothes
This is the way we wash the clothes”…

No.  Not a Scott Joplin… point counter point… jazzy improvisational… “round the mulberry bush”… nursery rhyming tune.
No.  Rather it.  The world as we know it.  IT IS ENDING  in sloooooooow mooootion.  Right before our very tired, smoke-smarting eyes and noise-shattered ears.  Not to mention our sadly broken hearts and minds.  It is happening… eeeeeever soooooo sloooowly… in real time… that it would appear to be something like… a huuuuunnndred year screeeeeeam.
Never mind “a hundred years of solitude”…  this is not magic realism.  This human annihilation of all living species… this Arvo Part death march to the sea… which we are currently witnessing, and enduring against our collective wills  
And, all quite simply.  By mucking around with those animal-headed neters… those shady uncertainties… unknown principles… rolling around in that witch’s pot of proverbial chaos
You think I’m pulling a dragon’s tail here… do ye?
Who’s walking like an Egyptian now, baby?
The whole damn US Senate and Congress in lock >>hypnotic<< step.  That’s right!
We’ll be flying ye olde Nazi banner… or, is it… Roman Imperial flag? over the White House next week.  Prepare for Holy War… “the mother of all wars”… the final battle of Armageddon… martial law lockdown… inside our spiffy new wall.  Emperor Trump… Pharaoh, or, is it Czar Trump? will be addressing the Reichtag?… the Roman Imperial Senate… or, is it the Duma?
Is it perhaps time to sound the ancient bullhorn… call in the Riders of Rohan, sir?
Comrades in arms… Would someone… Ring up the Big Boss Man behind the iron curtain now… you, Roger Stone.  Call the Great Oz… Comrade Vlad.  He can straighten out all this mess…
"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"

Damn.  I’m scarin the shit out of myself.
Where is my cup of dragonwell tea this morning?
Gotta get rid of that ship of fools…
Craigslist… Craigslist…
Do it now.
Before the white whale keelhauls us again, Ishmael.

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