It was a simple decision, right?
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood"... Been there. Done that.
Flip a coin: Mad River Hospital >>ER<< (Arcata, CA). Or. St. Joseph’s Hospital >>ER<< (Eureka, CA).
Drive>>>>>>>>
Pick one. There are only two possible choices in our area.
Wait a minute. Where are the keys? Is the ’07 Honda van with 198,364 miles on it still running?
Battery is dead. Just a minute while I get the jumper cables in the ’69 Ford…
Where is that genuine emotional support dog… Jasper?
Jaaaasper!?
Here. Right here. Already in the van. Good boy. All good. Let’s go.
VVVrrrrrooooom. Vroom
What’ll it be? Arcata or—
Eureka?!
Why Eureka? We went to Arcata last time(s)… With the bowel surgery in ‘09, the many colonoscopies, Syrah’s incident…
Yeah. Something just wasn’t right about that… “three-hour tour”… The 3-day-3-night “waiting for a fart” scenario. After the highly successful bowel re-section by Dr. Cobb.
O! Right… The surgery was great. Thanks, doc and surgical nurses! But.
Thanks for forgetting me in the recovery room after the colonoscopy and going to lunch.
Remember coming into my hospital room that first morning after surgery?
Remember finding the red lights flashing on the IV pole beside my bed?
Remember my bloody arm?
Remember finding the red lights flashing on the IV pole beside my bed?
Remember my bloody arm?
And that odd clear liquid running all over the floor?
You were the one who found the mess and pointed it out to me
Ohhhhh… And the pot roast with mashed potatoes and gravy…
Ohhhhh… And the pot roast with mashed potatoes and gravy…
Oh, right.
Remember how I told you “they seemed to be partying all night long in the room next door to me”…?
I wasn’t sure if it was a feisty family of local crab fishermen. Waiting for dear grandpa to die. Egging him along with a bottle and a pipe. And perhaps… a little pilfered pharmacology?
Or a family of disincarnate, druggy hospital ghouls. Celebrating a recent arrival?
Or a family of disincarnate, druggy hospital ghouls. Celebrating a recent arrival?
Yeah…?
And then there was that kindly male nurse. Who jiggled my wee-wee all night?
And then there was that kindly male nurse. Who jiggled my wee-wee all night?
Oh dear…?
Who graciously helped me pee through a badly crimped catheter. Because the IV device was apparently pumping so much fluid into me. I was about explode to all night long.
And the “slow country nurse” who seemed to be on a strong dose of sedatives…
Hmmm.
And remember? We already went to the Mad River ER once. And they told us— a cough, a little bit of fever and a headache were not good enough reasons to be admitted to the hospital.
We already went there a week ago and they sent us home.
Oh. Right. I forgot about being turned away
What the hell. Let’s try our luck at St. John’s…
But. They’re the ones who didn’t find the metastatic tumor in your liver until it was the size of a beachball!?
Medium-size cocktail grapefruit.
Yeah. I know.
But. That was just the radiology department. Let’s go. Just drive. Don’t argue. There are no good choices on the road to….
It’s called a modern medical dilemma… like: To be (cured) or not to be (cured)… That is the (cancerous) question.
Alright. Hang on. I’m activating the Honda V6 hyper-drive. Hang onto your seats!!
WHHHHHOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHH!!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ok, folks. If you’re expecting a grinning, joyful welcoming committee. Led by the likes of Dr. Oz in his green scrubs. To be meeting and greeting you. Down at your local emergency room.
A little Led Zep… Stairway to Heaven, piping into the stairwells maybe…
You can forget it. Take a ticket and get in line, pal.
But!! Where is Dr. Oz?!
He’s “over the rainbow”… maybe in Kansas City, Dorothy… attending to Auntie Em’s bunions… bosoms, whatever
Or, perhaps… THE DOCTOR?
DR. WHO?! (who who… who whooo)
You did have to say that, didn’t you.
My favorite: Tom Baker! of course.
With Sarah Jane, Leela, Romana (my favorite!), Nyssa, Adric, and that crazy stacked Aussie stewardess, Tegan
Don’t forget— K9!!!
Affirmative, Master.
And all those dreadful Daleks with that hideous Davros leading them…
EX TER MIN ATE! EXTERMINTATE!!
Never mind about the “little man behind the green curtain”…
The anonymous guy on the gurney groaning next to you. He’s only 23-years old. And he just got the news that he’ll be getting his very first
>>>>$40,000<<<< quadruple! bypass! shortly
Oh… he doesn’t sound good. Probably trying to do the math and figure out how he’s going to pay for it all on a volunteer fireman’s salary.
No. Sounds downright awful. But there’s a terrific “crosstown traffic” jam up ahead of him. He’ll have plenty of time to get used to the idea.
Where were we? In a long moaning line. It’s up to number 356…
Oh. What number are we?
742.
Really?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ten hours later.
Are we still here in the ante-chamber to Hell… the ER?
Oh yes. We’re still half naked, freezing to death in the ER. Rather. I am.
What is the official assessment from that brutal blond nurse at this point? (She really stuck me like a holiday pig… Ouch).
Well. They’re talking about taking another X-ray of your lungs.
Really…? What for?
I have told them 23 times already that I have a life-threatening—
>>>POST HEPATIC SURGICAL<<< INFECTION>>>
This deadly infection has overrun my desperately regenerating liver. Leapt across a minor internal chasm. And seized ahold of my fragile diaphragm.
It was a pitiless, precisely aimed… Parthian shot from Genghis’ “retreating” army of agile… horseback archers>>>
Remember…?
That’s why I am coughing continuously and having trouble breathing. The arrow imbedded in my “deeper psychic spleen”… on the banks of the Volga… or…. somewhere or other…
The Mad River!! yes, yes…
And. Don’t forget. A very severe migraine.
I need the most powerful antibiotics known to man!!
(And some Butterbur Formula Extract from the COOP!)
Well. That’s all good. But, there’s no hope. A new hospitalist has arrived.
And.
And…….? Waiting….
And apparently they have this rigid protocol…
And apparently they have this rigid protocol…
Really….? Another X-ray of my lungs?!?
You must be joking.
And an EKG. Maybe an MRI. Another series of blood tests. And possibly a CAT-scan.
WTF!?
Where is the new hospitalist!?
Down the hallway somewhere. Tending to other patients. You’re not the only patient… dying to be admitted… here today.
Oh really. And where is the new hospitalist from? The last guy was from… Istanbul, Turkey… was it?! He sounded like a shovel full of gravel going into a cement mixer when he opened his mouth. I couldn’t understand a word of it.
It’s a rather efficient-acting… authoritative woman this time. I think she’s from… Afghanistan… or Pakistan…?
One of the…. ‘stans. Oh, great. Have you been able to find out anything? If…. or when… I might be admitted to the hallowed halls of yonder… hospital above? My head is killing me
There’s a problem with the code.
The secret code… ? The combination lock on the gates to the Halls of Amenti!?! Call Hermes Thrice-Great Almighty… at once
The hospital admittance form. Which the hospitalist and someone important. Must sign off on. It requires a special code. A number.
A primary number… or an irrational?
A number indicative of what you have. The “what” and the “why” you are being admitted to
The inner sanctum sanctorum of the great business pyramid… of the highly guarded… secret western medical establishment…. right.
Downright hierophantic.
Ah. An insurance code probably. They have to put a price tag on me first.
I guess. I don’t know. They are waiting for someone to come up with a certain number.
Numbers, again. So sorry, Socrates. How’s that hemlock going?
I told you it would all come down to a numbers game in the end…
Thanks, Plato.
Don’t thank me. Thank… Euclid, or, one of the ‘gyptian Ptolmey’s.
So this is how it ends. Ladies and gentlemen…
Waiting in a long, angry queue.
In the bowels of a great modern pyramid.
Half-naked on a freezing cold slab.
Waiting… not for Godot…
Oh no.
Didi and Gogo had it all wrong.
Most certainly not.
Rather…
Waiting for a price sticker to be pasted upon…
In the bowels of a great modern pyramid.
Half-naked on a freezing cold slab.
Waiting… not for Godot…
Oh no.
Didi and Gogo had it all wrong.
Most certainly not.
Rather…
Waiting for a price sticker to be pasted upon…
Upon my migraine-pounding snout?
Ah yes… Good fellow worshippers of supernal embodiment.
Ah yes… Good fellow worshippers of supernal embodiment.
Waiting for… that… prepaid something or other… perhaps.
And yet… ever unscripted.
And yet… ever unscripted.
The Incisive Moment.
When the Great Solomonious Seal perhaps.
Is branded upon the aspirant’s sweaty forehead.
When the priestess of high finance waves the magic wand.
And the secret doorway to the third floor is—
When the Great Solomonious Seal perhaps.
Is branded upon the aspirant’s sweaty forehead.
When the priestess of high finance waves the magic wand.
And the secret doorway to the third floor is—
Or is it the Caduceus of… Asclepius?
Rod.
I beg your pardon?
Rod of Asclepius… the Greek God of Healing.
He had a single rod with a single snake.
He had a single rod with a single snake.
(The Dracunculiasis twig… some say).
Not two rods.
Like the twin pillars of Hercules.
Like the twin pillars of Hercules.
The what!?
On Spanish “pieces of eight”.
The Rock of Gibraltar and the other one in Africa.
Beyond which nothing lies…
Beyond which nothing lies…
Really?!
Except the… soon to be conquered for the Spanish crown… “new world”… of course.
Of course.
And not two snakes.
Like the Caduceus.
Or. Staff of Mercury.
Or. Staff of Mercury.
You don’t say?!
Mercury, the Roman god. Or, Hermes, the Greek god.
Both Gods of the Great Profundity!
The Sacred Business of Life.
Consciousness Itself.
Life Everlasting.
They each had a single staff with two snakes…
The Sacred Business of Life.
Consciousness Itself.
Life Everlasting.
They each had a single staff with two snakes…
Originally symbolic of the brain and central nervous system.
The true, incarnate root of all wisdom.
The true, incarnate root of all wisdom.
The upright spinal column being the “staff of life” or—
The trunk of the “tree of knowledge”.
Upholding the bright, energetic sushumna.
The central channel of conscious light.
The soul of living light.
With the snakes. The ida and pingala nadis.
Representing the sympathetic and parasympathetic.
Peripheral nervous system.
The receiving and giving aspect of conscious embodiment.
The perceiving and reacting.
Passive and active.
The trunk of the “tree of knowledge”.
Upholding the bright, energetic sushumna.
The central channel of conscious light.
The soul of living light.
With the snakes. The ida and pingala nadis.
Representing the sympathetic and parasympathetic.
Peripheral nervous system.
The receiving and giving aspect of conscious embodiment.
The perceiving and reacting.
Passive and active.
Yin and yang dancing round the Maypole.
Hermes (Trismegistus) by the way.
Being another name for Thoth.
Thoth being a distant forefather or founder of Egypt.
Egypt being integral to us.
At the root of all western thinking.
In spite of the burning of the great library at Cairo.
Even prior to our beloved Greeks…
And belated Romans.
Being another name for Thoth.
Thoth being a distant forefather or founder of Egypt.
Egypt being integral to us.
At the root of all western thinking.
In spite of the burning of the great library at Cairo.
Even prior to our beloved Greeks…
And belated Romans.
Prior to even all of those glorious Catholic saints.
Prior to the above mentioned… inspirational St. Augustine.
And most prior to these conspiratorial Confessions.
And most prior to these conspiratorial Confessions.
Hermes, the Thrice Great.
An early enlightened human spiritual master.
A Sat Guru.
One who takes us from the darkness of ignorance.
Into the light of our inherent wisdom.
A wise teacher. An immortal sage.
A keeper of the eternal flame of knowledge.
An early enlightened human spiritual master.
A Sat Guru.
One who takes us from the darkness of ignorance.
Into the light of our inherent wisdom.
A wise teacher. An immortal sage.
A keeper of the eternal flame of knowledge.
Excuse me.
Yes?
Where are we going with this….?
Oh right.
We were waiting for the moment…
Waiting for the sadly misconstrued tattoo of the almighty—
>>>>>>>>>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$<<<<<<<<<<
To be struck.
Upon our collective, corruptible consciousness.
Upon our money changer’s temples…
Upon our collective, corruptible consciousness.
Upon our money changer’s temples…
Duplicitous, all-seeing eye?
