So. We have to move this little river doggie along. We haven’t reached Plum Village yet. Let’s fast forward/slow reverse just a bit. To sometime early in that awful year, 2007.
I know. I know. Seems like we’re never going to get out of that… sand trap bunker of a bad sextuple-double-bogie way-way-over-par… disaster year. But. Have faith. Pray for miracles. Keep your head down. Your eye on your balls. And keep that number one woodie swinging.
So. For an amazing year or two we was gettin our rocks off good!
Hey. That’s enough of that.
But. Now that you mention it. The rocks, I mean.
This gimpy, limping, olympian… Oscar Pistorius?… epic is all about rocks, by the sacred way. This extended side tour. With multiple breathtaking views… into the burning, bottomless pit of Tartarus… these “weird scenes inside the gold mine” and, beyond… to the far distant wondrous… Wonder Bread cast upon… and pvc plastic clogged… ocean horizon? We stumbled upon this ninefold ignoble path, dear brave pilgrims…. seekers of truth, beauty, glory…. and a good story
We climbed up onto this warming ledge of a sheer volcanic precipice with these danged hot rocks to—
In an ancient myth recorded by Hesiod's Theogony, Cronus envied the power of his father, the ruler of the universe, Uranus. Uranus drew the enmity of Cronus's mother, Gaia, when he hid the gigantic youngest children of Gaia, the hundred-handed Hecatonchires and one-eyed Cyclopes, in Tartarus, so that they would not see the light. Gaia created a great stone sickle and gathered together Cronus and his brothers to persuade them to castrate Uranus.[2]
Only Cronus was willing to do the deed, so Gaia gave him the sickle and placed him in ambush.[3] When Uranus met with Gaia, Cronus attacked him with the sickle, castrating him and casting his testicles into the sea. From the blood that spilled out from Uranus and fell upon the earth, the Gigantes,
Erinyes, and Meliae were produced. The testicles produced a white foam from which the goddess Aphrodite emerged. For this, Uranus threatened vengeance and called his sons Titenes (Τιτῆνες; according to Hesiod meaning "straining ones," the source of the word "titan", but this etymology is disputed) for overstepping their boundaries and daring to commit such an act (in an alternate version of this myth, a more benevolent Cronus overthrew the wicked serpentine Titan Ophion and in doing so he released the world from bondage and for a time ruled it justly).
After dispatching Uranus, Cronus re-imprisoned the Hecatonchires, and the Cyclopes and set the dragon Campe to guard them. He and his sister Rhea took the throne of the world as king and queen. The period in which Cronus ruled was called the Golden Age, as the people of the time had no need for laws or rules; everyone did the right thing, and immorality was absent.
Cronus learned from Gaia and Uranus that he was destined to be overcome by his own sons, just as he had overthrown his father. As a result, although he sired the gods Demeter, Hestia, Hera, Hades and Poseidon by Rhea, he devoured them all as soon as they were born to prevent the prophecy. When the sixth child, Zeus, was born Rhea sought Gaia to devise a plan to save them and to eventually get retribution on Cronus for his acts against his father and children.
Rhea secretly gave birth to Zeus in Crete, and handed Cronus a stone wrapped in swaddling clothes, also known as the Omphalos Stone, which he promptly swallowed, thinking that it was his son.
Rhea kept Zeus hidden in a cave on Mount Ida, Crete. According to some versions of the story, he was then raised by a goat named Amalthea, while a company of Kouretes, armored male dancers, shouted and clapped their hands to make enough noise to mask the baby's cries from Cronus. Other versions of the myth have Zeus raised by the nymph Adamanthea, who hid Zeus by dangling him by a rope from a tree so that he was suspended between the earth, the sea, and the sky, all of which were ruled by his father, Cronus. Still other versions of the tale say that Zeus was raised by his grandmother, Gaia.
Once he had grown up, Zeus used an emetic given to him by Gaia to force Cronus to disgorge the contents of his stomach in reverse order: first the stone, which was set down at Pytho under the glens of Mount Parnassus to be a sign to mortal men, and then his two brothers and three sisters. In other versions of the tale, Metis gave Cronus an emetic to force him to disgorge the children,[4] or Zeus cut Cronus's stomach open.
You see? You see how important rocks are… have always been to mankind? To the gods even! If it weren’t for that rock wrapped in swaddling clothes in the manger that Mama fed to Cronus… we never would have been born!! Zeus never would have mated with Heraldo upon Mount Olympus! Achilles never would have banged Helen beside the smoldering ruins of Troy! And, we haven’t even started in on the druid cults with their sacrificial rock gardens, or, the Hindus and the Buddhists with all of their rock carved temples, the Blarney Stone, the Planctae, the Semplegades, Scylla and Charybdis, those mysterious omphalos stones all over the planet, that black rock over in Mecca, or, the rock that caused Jacob to dream up the ladder—
New International Version
Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it.
New Living Translation
The next morning Jacob got up very early. He took the stone he had rested his head against, and he set it upright as a memorial pillar. Then he poured olive oil over it.
The next morning Jacob got up very early. He took the stone he had rested his head against, and he set it upright as a memorial pillar. Then he poured olive oil over it.
English Standard Version
So early in the morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it.
So early in the morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it.
Berean Study Bible
Early the next morning, Jacob took the stone that he had placed under his head, and he set it up as a pillar. He poured oil on top of it,
New American Standard Bible
So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top.
So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top.
King James Bible
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
Christian Standard Bible
Early in the morning Jacob took the stone that was near his head and set it up as a marker. He poured oil on top of it
Early in the morning Jacob took the stone that was near his head and set it up as a marker. He poured oil on top of it
Contemporary English Version
When Jacob got up early the next morning, he took the rock that he had used for a pillow and stood it up as a place of worship. Then he poured olive oil on the rock to dedicate it to God,
When Jacob got up early the next morning, he took the rock that he had used for a pillow and stood it up as a place of worship. Then he poured olive oil on the rock to dedicate it to God,
Good News Translation
Jacob got up early next morning, took the stone that was under his head, and set it up as a memorial. Then he poured olive oil on it to dedicate it to God.
Jacob got up early next morning, took the stone that was under his head, and set it up as a memorial. Then he poured olive oil on it to dedicate it to God.
Holman Christian Standard Bible
Early in the morning Jacob took the stone that was near his head and set it up as a marker. He poured oil on top of it
Early in the morning Jacob took the stone that was near his head and set it up as a marker. He poured oil on top of it
International Standard Version
When Jacob got up early the next morning, he took the stone that he had used for his pillow, set it up as a pillar, drenched it with oil,
NET Bible
Early in the morning Jacob took the stone he had placed near his head and set it up as a sacred stone. Then he poured oil on top of it.
Early in the morning Jacob took the stone he had placed near his head and set it up as a sacred stone. Then he poured oil on top of it.
New Heart English Bible
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up as a pillar, and poured oil on top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up as a pillar, and poured oil on top of it.
GOD'S WORD® Translation
Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had put under his head. He set it up as a marker and poured olive oil on top of it.
Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had put under his head. He set it up as a marker and poured olive oil on top of it.
JPS Tanakh 1917
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
New American Standard 1977
So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar, and poured oil on its top.
So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar, and poured oil on its top.
Jubilee Bible 2000
And Jacob rose up early in the morning and took the stone that he had put for his pillows and set it up for a pillar and poured oil upon the top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning and took the stone that he had put for his pillows and set it up for a pillar and poured oil upon the top of it.
King James 2000 Bible
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
American King James Version
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil on the top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil on the top of it.
American Standard Version
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
Douay-Rheims Bible
And Jacob, arising in the morning, took the stone, which he had laid under his head, and set it up for a title, pouring oil upon the top of it.
And Jacob, arising in the morning, took the stone, which he had laid under his head, and set it up for a title, pouring oil upon the top of it.
Darby Bible Translation
And Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had made his pillow, and set it up [for] a pillar, and poured oil on the top of it.
And Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had made his pillow, and set it up [for] a pillar, and poured oil on the top of it.
English Revised Version
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
Webster's Bible Translation
And Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil on the top of it.
And Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil on the top of it.
World English Bible
Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil on its top.
Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil on its top.
Young's Literal Translation
And Jacob riseth early in the morning, and taketh the stone which he hath made his pillows, and maketh it a standing pillar, and poureth oil upon its top.
And Jacob riseth early in the morning, and taketh the stone which he hath made his pillows, and maketh it a standing pillar, and poureth oil upon its top.
Not to mention… Stanley Kubrick’s black monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey, or—
ROCK AND ROLL HOOCHIE KOO !!!
……..and all us stoned surfers up here in Humboldt who worship Oceanus Pacificus over at the high surf altar of Camel Rock. Hey. Maybe some of us even worship the old rocky mystery beast itself… I’ve definitely seen a sphinx-like silhouette up on that very rock… grinning enigmatically back at me on many occasions… relating to me with one of them Mona Lisa… I know that you know… that I know what you’re thinking… about smiles… when the sun shines low just so………
Yeah. Does anybody want a joint and a Pacifico Clara with a lime here?
Sometimes that wild bactrian rock speaks to me. Whispers timeless secrets into my water-clocked ears… at the blessed stony, camel-toed feet and sandy bar… of the “water-skirted” diety of surf.
But. Where were we?
Somewhere caught… between a pair of rocks and a hard on?
That’s close enough.
Jessica’s Rocks!!
Now yur talkin baby.
Uh, hopefully not…. not baby.
So. Jessica went to Istanbul, Turkey. In the early spring of 2007. Or was it a discontented winter? Names and dates. Names and dates… will be the death of me.
I don’t remember everything exactly to the letters and numbers damn it all!! I’m getting old and forgetful.
Although. I do remember that. I did win the Daughters of the American Revolution History Award… blue ribbon with a bronze stamped half-naked lady in bas relief medal… upon graduation from grade school.
Yeah. Whatever, dude. Not exactly the Bronze, Silver… or the Purple Pleiadian. Just get on with the quirky strip show. About that silly starfish brainchild with her lingual gyrus panties full of sand dollars.
Right. So. Jessica… my beloved sort of… part-time… ethical/unethical… slutty selkie girlfriend…
My dearly cherished Heartwoodie classmate. My excellent massage partner, my adventurous cross country van travel partner, my hotel, motel… gorgeous antique cottage on Long Island… my masterly love-making partner in the ornate mirror… in the elegant grand, lacey-tufted… puffy soft, tender feminine, divine bed… in the bright sunny master suite… while the masterless mistress… the kindly old grand dame heiress of the Victorian jewel box house… was away… my beloved coquette… swinging gently in steady rhythm… to the sea’s immortal bloodsong… pulsing in her cockle shell ears… my prize mermaid… caught in time’s magic net… laid upon a gayly-colored, wide-striped hammock… upon an emerald green manicured lawn… beside the shining tidal sluice gate waters… next the old wooden drawbridge in summer
My my… sometimes Daughter of the Moon, Nikomis… my my… sleepover housemate?
Let’s face it. Let’s just spit the truth out no matter how much it hurts.
Right, Pater Hippocampus! Just open the dam and let it all flow out. Upchuck the steaming seething wedge of unprincipled pleasure onto the cold hand-cut stone tile… ancient Roman orgy of marble mosaic… confessional broom closet floor. We’re swimming in hot water in the Basilica Cistern now. Breathe
Jessica, my darling. My love. My naughty, naughty lover. My “furlined moss-crease mouth of mystery”… my “neutron-flux radiation radical-mind cave dance”… my “really big mind-fuck in the sky under water rubber-inflatable alleluia alligator”… my “nuclear-sub spirit-communicator type with atman-overvoid in fully automated homo-coupled hype dial-lever-light-activated atomic barge steam stern-wheel”… my “California humming-bird steam-whisloquent heroic organ blowing bubble-lace ribbons of carbon-dioxenlike gas up in rising rhythmic threads of expiration date-eternity”… my “flesh-tooth truth aqua-lung sonar-meaning ding wildcat strike make-over atomic eat wild-bird-dust-octopus”… my “don’t stop til you reach the mophead sponge tip-top magnumb-come-loudly in Mae West maelstrom with maenads hot-cold flash-dance the marriage of opposites alchemical”… my “ globular spinning dizzying rays double-dip finch puddle in double-heart cage harness double-come-gum spit snake eyes chew-bubble tongue pink elastic stretch-flesh nipple-sun”… my “Argo-not-forget me do dip it in dip-shoot eye-lips man-o-war caviar chandellier glow-budget the rainbow trout-shout and sparkling mansion”…
My… jellyfish on the breakfast nook ceiling… my mad, mad mermaid, my mostly silent siren, my thunderous muse.
That’s a whole lot of…. my my my my
Yeah. YOU GOT IT?!
I was punk sick in love with her!
Whatever.
But. I was on a sacred mission. A holy quest.
I had young children to consider back east. I had—
That’s just it. I already had two children. I didn’t want to start another family. Not at that particular moment. Not with her.
And her scheme to pump out a baby narwhal for cash. To fix her bloody moon cycle?
I don’t know. Just sounded fishy to this merman’s ears.
What I told myself is. What I kept trying to convince myself was.
This wonderful woman is thirty years old. A perfectly healthy, radiant flower of fertility she be. And so.
This wonderful woman is thirty years old. A perfectly healthy, radiant flower of fertility she be. And so.
She needs to find another honey bee… another bumbling idiot… to stir the ambrosia up in her… liquor pot of true love’s delight.
Damn it all!! Loving her as I do… did. I concluded that I had to let her go find… the nice young “red-haired boy” of her nightly dreams.
But. I wasn’t prepared to let her go. Just to run into her and… her latest Prince Charming… every fifteen minutes at the COOP in downtown Arcata, CA. I would need time to heal. A good long year I figured. So.
I made a heart-wrenching health plan. A mouse-proof plan, so I thought. Although it did eventually include a mouse, a keyboard and a video monitor… so we could Skype on the old Apple… while she spent time in Istanbul.
That’s right. In Istanbul… Turkey. Like I said.
During which time, which I mentioned earlier in these Confessions… I don’t know. I’ve lost my own tracks in this absurd maze. There have been so many stepping stones over this perilous ocean of love—
During which time, I went straight to Amini… the ancient wizened crone, the celebrated pythian high priestess, trophy wife of Apollo, directly descended in a long line of oracles from Delphi, the miraculous mythic myrmidon healer, my former cranio-sacral teacher who I met at Heartwood in The Barn… you remember her? No?
Look it up!
Down the Rabbit Hole Confession.
I went to Amini in the Allen Building on G Street in Arcata, Ca. And I said
I want to you to cut my heart out of my body and raise it up as an offering to the sun god… like the old time Aztec priests used to do… offer it up to… Huitzilopochtli… the hummingbird of the south.
And she replied, NOT A GOOD IDEA…. gringo.
